Reflecting

January 5, 2018

reflecting

Why is it that this time of year seems to force us to look back over the year past? Over things you did, things you didn’t do, things you thought you’d do?

I guess that can’t be a bad thing. But it does also force you to look forward. What will you do in the following year? What are your goals? How will you do it?

So many questions. So much overwhelm.

ERGH. It makes my brain hurt. Even if it’s a subconscious brainwave this time of year, with so much ‘goal setting’ around, I can’t help but fall in with the tradition.

The year has been amazing, full of highs and of course lows. I started the year in Cambodia, went on to travel Vietnam, Laos and Malaysia. I gave my mum away when she married her best friend. I got a new job in a completely new field. And dare I say it, I fell in love.

I moved out of mum’s house, booked another trip. Went to Sweden to visit new friends. Was asked to be bridesmaid for one of my best friends in the world. I found myself becoming a little more, well, me. But I’ve also lost track on some of the things that make me happy. Truly happy. I stopped writing. I abandoned my dream of making writing and travelling a career. I took a huge pay cut in order to not return to an office, meaning I have not saved nearly half as much as I’d have like to.

I’ve had wobbles. Lots of. What am I doing with my life? Why am I working insane hours for small money, I’ll never be able to move out of this flat, get my own place. If I move I can’t save to travel. If I travel I can never move. So many boundaries and contradictions it’s been driving me mad.

So. This is where this blog may save me. Save me from my internal fights with what I should be doing and what I am doing.

So here’s my plans. My thoughts and ideas of what I’d like to start the ball rolling with this year – whether to fruition by 2019 or not, perhaps word dumping my thoughts will help clear the haze…

  • Kuuzira – I love this blog. I love blogging and writing so much. So why would I stop it? I really want to transform this space into something amazing. Something inspiring – that it what the name stands for, after all. I want to share more stories of things I have done, but also want to expand out and share stories of amazing people doing amazing things. To help others, to help the planet, people who have quit their security and done something epic, people who have overcome a boundary, or done something we all think we wish we could do. Profiles, interviews, photoshoots. I also want to experiment more with creativity. I’ve started practising watercolour, and want to do more photography, so I plan to share those endeavours here.
  • Home – the ultimate dream, at the moment, is to one day build my very own tiny house. The movement is on its way over to the UK and I’m completely obsessed. The seed was planted way back when I was in Malaysia, when I came across a YouTube channel called Living Big in a Tiny House. THEY ARE AMAZING AND I NEED ONE. I’d love to build it with my dad, and park it somewhere within nature, but close by to a city. The rules – so I’ve found so far – in the UK when it comes to law and planning permission etc are shitty, so I have a lot more research to go. Also I need money. So, you know. Baby steps.
  • Body – I’ve been on this vegan journey for more than 2 years now and I love it. Now it’s time to hone in a little more and find my optimum health. Maybe I should drink less? Hmm…
  • Mind – I’ve found I’ve been a lot more connected with myself as of late, so I definitely want to continue down that road. Just being honest and kind to myself, so I can be honest and kind to others. Send out positive vibes, and you’ll get positive vibes in return.

Goodness even just writing this, just writing for the sake of writing, has made me feel so much happier. I miss this blog. I miss writing. I miss creating.

Time to change that.

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